It's not so easy...

My friends keep telling me I need to blog more.  I want to.  I really do!  But it’s not so easy.

It’s not so easy to sit down and share my day, my week or my month.  It’s difficult because a lot of that time was a battle.  If I sat down most days and wrote, you would hear about how life as a missionary is hard.  You would hear how my days are so long that by the time I get home all I want to do is nothing.  How there are a million things I need to do but either can’t find the energy or don’t have the emotional strength to do them. 

If I sat down and wrote on any given day you would hear how sometimes I don’t want to get up at 5:30am and get home at 9pm.  You would hear how miserable working in this suffocating heat can be or how sweet little street boys think calling me fat is a compliment.   No doubt I would tell you how stressed I can get over my finances.  How people that have supported me have just disappeared and I can’t explain why.  You would hear how my only roommate is moving and soon I'll be alone.  I would tell you how much I miss my family.

Part of me wants to believe that it will get easier.  That eventually my Faith will exceed these circumstances.  I want to believe that this is all I’ll have to conquer.  But I know that’s not true.  If we’re moving forward in Faith listening for God in everything we do, it will never get easier. It will only get better.

Last week God took my ‘not so easy’ and turned it into ‘I must be crazy’.  Honduras is no longer a temporary 2 year mission field for me.  I know God is calling me here permanently.  I’m scared.  I’m excited.  I’m sad.  People are supportive.  People are against it.  But in the end either I say yes, focus my eyes on Jesus and believe this will be a time of the miraculous or I go back home where things will be easier.

I’m saying yes.  Yes to everything God has for me no matter how difficult or impossible it seems.

Last month one of my students handed me this letter wrapped in a pretty bow.  Today I put it on my wall.  I get to pour love into 80 little lives a day.  I can never forget that.

 

 

 

An answered prayer

“Please Lord, move quickly.”  This was my prayer as I landed back in Honduras January 30^th.  A big sense of urgency had been weighing heavily on my heart.  I wasn’t sure what God had in store but I knew I needed to move quickly.

Even though I know God answers prayer it still amazes me every time He does it.  The second I was out of customs God started making BIG changes.  That night in my room, as I realized just how big these changes were going to be, I cried for hours.  It wasn’t easy but it was quick.  That night I asked God to confirm my decision by the next day.

The next morning I woke up with complete peace. The decision was extremely painful but I knew God had confirmed it.  I would no longer be working with the 50 little orphans I had spent the last year loving and teaching. God was moving me forward. Now the big question was “What next Lord?” I spent the next day searching for other volunteer opportunities.  There were tons!  But every time I went to move God said “wait”.  So I waited.  It didn’t make sense but I listened. 

Why does God do things in ways we’d never expect?  I’m not sure but it is really cool.  A few days later I was half listening to a friend’s conversation when God literally stopped me and said “This is where I want you.”  Huh?  I didn’t even hear what she said!  I interrupted her mid-sentence and asked her to repeat herself.   She had been talking about a Christian rec center I never knew existed!

I am so excited about where God has placed me.  Things have happened so fast! The groups I'm working for have been telling people I appeared one day out of no-where.  Like magic!  Lol  God is so good!

So I wanted to show you where God has led me.  I am so excited and have a huge sense of anticipation for the things to come!

Horizontes al Futuro

Horizontes al Futuro is a rehabilitation home for boys living on the streets of Honduras.  These boys are rescued and given shelter, education, food, medical care and affection.  Because most of them have come from very rough histories of substance abuse, theft, begging and fighting they are taught to respect themselves and others.  Horizontes helps the children develop good self-esteem with the hope that they will soon return to their families and change the cycle of oppression.

Horizontes was started 18yrs ago by a man lovingly nicknamed Don Goyo.  He is a legend in Comayagua, Honduras because of his compassion for the forgotten children on the streets.  Before Honduras Don Goyo worked in the Congo building schools and aid centers for the poor. Every day I learn something new and am blessed to be a part of what he is doing.

The boys at Horizontes have captured my heart.  They are very rough around the edges and sometimes gross me out.   I must say “stop swearing!” at least 10 times a day and I stand in the middle of a couple ‘would be’ fights.  But I don’t see the outside.  All I can see is the sweet child of God on the inside.  They’ve experienced very little kindness and love in their short lives so I know my presence is making a big difference.   They are now calling me their madrina.

 Enlaces con Cristo

Enlaces con Cristo was founded in 1995 with a vision to provide a "bridge" between the youth of Honduras and the body of Christ.  This rec center was made to appeal to young people who might spend their free time in bars or on street corners.

A typical night at the rec center brings in 1000 young people between the ages of 12-25!!  They come to play foosball, ping pong, super Nintendo, basketball, soccer, volleyball and pool.  There are also a few groups who come to break dance!   Every hour the games are stopped for five minutes to allow someone to share a testimony of a life changing experience. Each young person is given an opportunity to accept Jesus into their life. About 3,000 young people have heard the gospel message by the end of each week.  I’ve started bringing my little friends to go and hang out and hear the word of God.  It is such an awesome opportunity!

On top of the rec center Enlaces also has a Christian Bilingual school.  The school's curriculum centers on the bible, so every class teaches children about God.  Currently I am helping to teach the 3^rd grade class and am blessed every day by the God centered atmosphere.

 

Wow.  Can you believe I could keep going on about all of the opportunities God has been placing in my path?  I just sit in awe at what He’s done through others here and about what I know He’s going to do through me. 

Please keep me in your prayers as God continues to move quickly.  And please continue to send your financial support.  All of my work here is done on a volunteer basis so I depend on your help to survive.  $600 a month covers my living expenses as well as gives me the ability to reach out to the community.  Please partner with me in reaching God's little children.  Any amount makes a difference!

 

 

He said YES!

It's amazing how quickly things can change.  Sometimes things change so quickly it's like ripping off a band aid.  Painful but quick.  I had been praying for change.  Praying that every second of every day we would walk together.   That I would see what He saw and do what He did. I told God (like He didn't know already) that I only had 1 more year in Honduras and that I wanted to spend every second fulfilling His purpose.

Tears come to my eyes as I think of how awesome God is.  I'm not perfect.  And this past year has been a big growing/learning experience.  There were times that were wonderful and other times where I felt like the world had gone dark.  But in the end I found the Son again!  How wonderful His love and grace are that they are always neverending.

God heard my prayer.  Although it has been painful God has been doing exactly what He promised; fulfilling the desires of my heart.  He said YES!  Every second has been full of His presence.  I walk out my door and see what He sees and am honored to be a part of what He's doing. 

He said YES!  God has opened doors and placed me in a spot where I could offer a child a way off the street.  A way for him to get an education,  to learn how to read and write.  A way to get medical care and 3 meals a day.  A way out of his horrible circumstances.  I was worried my little friend would say no but he said YES!  Just another awesome example of God's love. 

My little friend's mother came to my house today.  She gave me her approval to take her son to live at the boys' orphanage where I volunteer.  She said the only reason her son had the courage to go was because I would be there with him.  She gave me a huge hug and told me to take care of her son. I promised her that I would.

Those words keep echoing in my soul.  Take care of my son... 

Thank you to everyone who kept us in prayer.  Tomorrow I will be taking Harrison to the orphanage.  I'm a little nervous.  What if the other kids are mean?  What if he wants to leave?  What if I can't take care of him the way I promised?  But then I remind myself that God's got this.  And I feel like 'this' may just be the beginning...

Stuck In A Rut

I’ve always been a firm believer that if you aren’t moving forward you’re moving backward.  Actually, I believe that if you don’t move forward for a long time you can end up going backwards at a very rapid speed. 

What do I mean?  Well, take life for instance.  You move into a new home, start a new job and make new friends.  It’s all very exciting and challenging for a while but if you do it long enough it becomes an old schedule that manages to take up all your time.  Pretty soon you find yourself thinking “I’d like to do that” or “I SHOULD being doing this” or “I should STOP doing that.”  But you can’t manage to do it.  Why??

If you’re like me you probably have a million great excuses as to why you can’t make changes.  It’s easy for me living in a 3^rd world country.  I mean I have pretty valid reasons for not doing things.  Like “I don’t want to get mugged” or “That bus stop scares me” or “My Spanish isn’t good enough” or my favorite “How can I get information if they don’t have a website?!”

All of these excuses (plus more) have kept me stuck in a rut for the past few months.  And although I love where I live and what I do, I know I should be striving for more.  I mean God didn’t create us to be stagnating, going through the same motions day in and day out.  Every day should be bringing opportunities for us to make changes big or small.

Ok, well if you’re wondering, I was inspired to write this because I got out of my rut.  Yup.  Months of frustration and I got out of my rut in one day.  ONE DAY!  How you ask?  I got to the point where I realized that if I kept listening to all of my great excuses time would fly and I would be in the same spot 1 yr, 2yrs, 3yrs from now.  The ‘world changer’ I was called to be would be nothing more than a wasted dream.  So I just did it.  I was tired and nervous and thought about backing out but I didn’t.  And now I know that God was just waiting for me to take that step.

Tonight in church I couldn’t stop reading this verse:

I’m no longer calling you servants because servants don’t understand what their master is thinking and planning.  No, I’ve named you friends because I’ve let you in on everything I’ve heard from the Father.    – John 15:15

How could we ever remain motionless when we’ve been let in on the plans of God?

HELP

So this is not my usual blog.  Nor do I ever want to have to post another blog like it.  But desperate times call for desperate measures.

For those of you that don't know, I am required to leave Honduras every 90 days.  For the past year my parents have been carrying the VERY pricey cost of flying me out of the country every 3 months. The costs have become too much so I have applied for Honduran residency.  I was assured everything was fine but have come to find out otherwise.

I have to leave the country this weekend.  And because of a ridiculous agreement between the 3 countries surrounding me, I have to go farther than I would like.  This weekend I will need to take 3 buses through Honduras to Guatemala.  There I will need to stay the night and take the first boat out to Belize.  To make sure my stay is recognized I will need to stay until Monday when I will then trek back the same way I came.

If you are a follower of this blog or maybe just accidentally read it on Facebook and feel a tug on your heart, please help.  (There's a donate button on the top of this page where you can send help.)

I have been a missionary in Honduras for 1 year now, working only for God.  My bank account is almost always close to 0 but I have always had faith that God would provide.  This situation was unexpected and at times threatens to wear me down.  But I know His pockets are bigger than mine. 

Many Blessings,

<3 Naomi

The Christian Gringa

Next month begins my second year in Honduras. Its crazy to think about.

A year ago it took me 30 minutes to get the courage to leave my house and catch a taxi to grocery shop.  I use to cringe at the thought of walking to the local corner store to buy minutes for my phone. The people that yelled through my front gate selling stuff use to scare the heck out of me.  I was even intimidated at church services.  Dios le bendiga huh??  I use to feel everyone stare at my blonde hair and pale skin.  I felt so out of place.

Wow.  What one year can do. 

It will be year number two and not only do I enjoy the pleasant conversations I have with the taxi drivers, many of them know where I live.  The local corner store owners also know me and unlock their doors to welcome me in.  And when the street vendors come to my gate I am eager to see what they are selling.  Also, I have an iPod filled with Spanish Christian music. Dios le bendiga?  Amen!  And about the sticking out thing... I've embraced it with neon clothes and blue hair extensions.  I don't even notice the stares or kissing noises anymore. 

So what's the deal?  What's with the title of this post?  Well, now that I'm at home... Honduras is a whole new animal.  I feel like I've passed the initiation and am now entering the true test.  Can this Christian Gringa survive the real Honduras?  Can she?

Well, as I fight my way through I am remembering what a good friend told me years ago.  I was fighting through a different battle and when I thought there was nothing left, she told me to appreciate the little things.  At that time those little things were things like peppermint hand lotion.  It sounds silly but the smell was something little I found comfort in.

So as this Christian Gringa is fighting to stay true, I just wanted to share a few of the little things that bring me joy and have blessed me throughout my year in Honduras.

1) Hitch hiking through the mountains in the back of a pick-up truck.

2) Hiking for 8 hours a day visiting homes and people no one would ever see.

3) Realizing EVERYthing bites in Honduras.

4) Hearing children yell my name from the top of a mountain.

5) Walking along a highway, buying strange fruits and watching people laugh as I try to eat them.

6)  Sitting outside at night, staring into the mountains and sharing scary stories with a bunch of my favorite boys.

7)  Letting 30 children know I am afraid of large bugs.

8)  The smell of hand made tortillas cooking over a wood fire.

9)  Getting decorated with flowers.

10)  The 50 hugs and kisses I get every day.

11)  Getting called 'Mommy'

I tried to stop at 10 but realized my list could go to 100...  I am blessed.  Everyone should make a list like this. 

Here's to another year.

Hiding from poor people.

It's been a while.  A while since I've been able to write.  A while since I've been able to think.  I'm ending my 8th month in Honduras and the past few months have been tough. 

When I landed in Honduras on October 3rd I hit the ground running.  My passion, my purpose was to help the poor.  I enjoyed every second.  Every long day climbing in the mountains, visiting people in need, sometimes going 8 hours without water.  I was driven and thriving.  I was living my dream!

So what happened?

By month number 6 something started to change.  Poor people were constantly knocking on my door, asking for help.  In months number 1-5 I was running out to greet them.  By month number 6 I was hiding on the floor of my house, pretending I wasn't home.  In months number 1-5 I was climbing into the hardest reached places to meet the poor.  In month number 6 I was trying to avoid them in church.

Ok, so before you judge me let me just say this is candid remember?  Missionary life uncensored?  Well here it is!

I came back to the States for 2 weeks hoping to get recharged but I boarded my return flight with the same disturbing feeling.  Why was I running away from poor people?!  Considering I was a missionary in the poorest country in the Western hemisphere, this was a BIG problem!

Some good friends of mine sent me off with a few books.  One of  them was 'There is Always Enough' by Rolland and Heidi Baker.  Between my 3 flights and 2 hour bus ride back I managed to finish the book.  By the time I unlocked my door in Honduras I was inspired.  Heidi Baker lived to love people.  She gave up everything and lived in slums alongside the outcasts of society.  She truly was/is an example of God's love. 

I was going to be another Heidi Baker.  I was sure of it.

Well, as I was in the salon getting a pedicure...( Yes, really.  I am in flip flops 24/7.  I hike mountains, step on biting ant mounds, run into spiky ground brush and have 50 kids step on my toes every day.) And as I was in the salon I realized I was no Heidi Baker.  Heidi Baker would not be getting a pedicure...

Well you know what?  I kind of started to think I was wrong for this job.  I mean what kind of missionary runs from poor people and gets pedicures? 

It was just this week that God started to show me.  Support started flooding in from everywhere.  Every day someone was donating, helping me.  It was as if God was saying "YES!" I am suppose to be here.  He chose me to be here.  He loves me no matter how imperfect I am.  I don't know if that revelation ever gets old.  But THANK YOU!! To everyone who donated this month.  It has litterally felt like a shower of love and has encouraged me to go on! 

And for the record... I will be making my way back into the mountains next week :)