It’s not so easy to sit down and share my day, my week or my month. It’s difficult because a lot of
that time was a battle. If I sat down
most days and wrote, you would hear about how life as a missionary is hard. You would hear how my days are so long that
by the time I get home all I want to do is nothing. How there are a million things I need to do
but either can’t find the energy or don’t have the emotional strength to do them.
If I sat down and wrote on any given day you would hear how
sometimes I don’t want to get up at 5:30am and get home at 9pm. You would hear how miserable working in this suffocating
heat can be or how sweet little street boys think calling me fat is a compliment. No
doubt I would tell you how stressed I can get over my finances. How people that have supported me have just disappeared
and I can’t explain why. You would hear how
my only roommate is moving and soon I'll be alone. I would tell you how much I miss my family.Part of me wants to believe that it will get easier. That eventually my Faith will exceed these circumstances. I want to believe that this is all I’ll have to conquer. But I know that’s not true. If we’re moving forward in Faith listening for God in everything we do, it will never get easier. It will only get better.
Last week God took my ‘not so easy’ and turned it into ‘I must be crazy’. Honduras is no longer a temporary 2 year mission field for me. I know God is calling me here permanently. I’m scared. I’m excited. I’m sad. People are supportive. People are against it. But in the end either I say yes, focus my eyes on Jesus and believe this will be a time of the miraculous or I go back home where things will be easier.
I’m saying yes. Yes to
everything God has for me no matter how difficult or impossible it seems.
Last month one of my students handed me this letter
wrapped in a pretty bow. Today I put it
on my wall. I get to pour love into 80
little lives a day. I can never forget
that.
