ENDURANCE: Chikungunya (chi-ken-guun-ya)

I will never forget the day that changed my life.  I was sitting in a back pew at my church, totally disgusted with my life.  Every time I tried to fix things, I just made them worse.  Swallowing huge sobs, I bowed my head and had a conversation with God.  I said "God if you want this mess of a life you can have it.  If you think you can do anything with it, its all yours."

It was that moment that changed my life forever.  That moment of complete surrender.  I walked out of church that night a new person and into a new future.  God DID want my mess of a life because he knew he would turn it into something beautiful.

Living this life of surrender has taken me onto the mission field.  Its been 5 yrs of learning, making mistakes, getting back up and pushing forward.  There have been a lot of tears and serious talks with God, but I felt pretty sure I was still, after 5 yrs on the field, living a surrendered life.

Then God showed me what the real deal was...  I had started to take control again.  I had decided what my "missionary life" was going to look like.

I had a lot of reasons and excuses as to why I did this.  I blamed the books I'd read and the qualifications I felt I had.  But God didn't care about my excuses.  He kindly smacked me over the head and showed me that His plans were not my plans.  And that actually my plans were TINY compared to His!

I can't help but feel like that girl again, walking out of church and into a big beautiful future.

"That's why my cup is running over.  This is the assigned moment for Him to move into the center, while I slip off to the sidelines."   - John 3:30


Chikungunya

My new perfume

If you go to a travel clinic in the U.S. and tell them you're traveling to Honduras, they'll prescribe Malaria pills. They'll show you a map where you can see that Honduras is saturated with this disease.

I'm not sure where they get their info but Malaria isn't a thing here.  The problem here has always been Dengue and just recently Chikungunya.  There are no vaccines for these diseases.

Mosquitoes seem to be everywhere here.  It doesn't matter if you're in the city or in the mountains, they are always buzzing around your head.

Unfortunately, I'm one of those people mosquitoes love.  I can spray myself every night and still end up with a million itchy, bites.  But I was never too concerned because I had never gotten sick.  Maybe I was immune...

I'd been living in Honduras for 4 yrs and had never gotten Dengue.  But then came this mosquito borne epidemic Chikungunya.  The name sounded so ridiculous I couldn't help but laugh when people talked about it.   And I have to admit, I had trouble believing so many people were getting sick from it.

My joint pain supplements

My laughing stopped one night as my whole body began to hurt.  I went to a mirror and saw that I was covered in a red rash.  From that point on it only got worse, until I was bed ridden with a high fever.  Every joint and muscle in my body throbbed with pain.  I couldn't even stand up.

I looked up Chikungunya on the CDC website and it said the mosquito that carries this disease was most commonly found in the daytime, inside and outside homes in urban areas.  They said the fever would end in a week but joint pain could last a couple of weeks.

3 MONTHS of severe joint pain is what really happened.  I was handicapped.  Only now am I finally able to function without a lot of pain.

Needless to say I will never again look at a mosquito the same way.  I will not laugh at funny epidemic names or doubt anyone's illness.  Bug spray has become my new perfume and I spray myself night AND day.  Lesson learned!

When I was bed ridden a good friend sent me this video.  Its how you walk when you have Chikungunya.  It's SO accurate and WAY funnier now that I can walk.

ENDURANCE: Mi Casa

There are times I wake up in the middle of the night panicking.  The full reality of where I am and what I'm doing hits me like a ton of bricks.  I should be dreaming, but I'm freaking out.  Its all I can do to go back to sleep and not start packing a suitcase.

God is so amazing.  He always gives me the strength I need to push through.  Even when I think I can't, he knows I can.  And in the morning, when the fear starts to come back, I remind myself God has a plan.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11


Mi Casa

I'll never forget the first day I walked into my new home.  My friend had warned me it was old and dirty, but assured me the size and cost of rent was worth it.  Well she was right!  It was old, falling apart and really dirty.  What I didn't know was that it was infested with roaches and only had running water twice a day.

I screamed a lot those next few months.  Roaches seemed to pop out of every corner and when the water was on, it was freezing cold.  God bless my friend Diana.  I don't know how she put up with me.

Eventually though, I grew accustomed to the eccentricities of my new home. I actually started to love the house!

I wish that were the end of the story but its not.  Living in this house has been a constant adventure!  Here are just a few examples of the fun I've had:

Missionary by day, exterminator by night.  I've worn this outfit too many times! There have been so many infestation problems it was more economical to buy the fumigating equipment.

The first few times I fumigated in shorts and flip flops. I've come a long way.






There was the craziest tick infestation.  They were EVERYWHERE.  In my

bed, on my clothes, on my kitchen counters and all over my poor dog.  I kept fumigating the little patch of dirt in my front yard but couldn't figure out where they were coming from.

Well, they were nesting in my walls!  THOUSANDS of them!  And after the first fumigation they all migrated inside.  It was like the movie Arachnophobia! I was walking around with tweezers and a cup of bleach trying to get as many as I could.

I recently found roaches nesting in my dresser.  I had to boil water on my stove-top (no hot water here) and wash every piece of clothing I had in warm water.  2 full days of boiling and washing.  I was so grossed out.

So now I'm a roach expert.  This is a roach sack.  They don't lay eggs like I always thought, but sacks that hatch with a ton of babies inside.  I found this sack stuck to my sock.

I wish I weren't so knowledgeable on this subject.  I'm finding these things everywhere!  And after a lot of time on Google, I've realized the roaches have already won.  Thank you Google.


Insects aren't the only visitors I get.  The neighbors' chickens keep getting into my house. It was funny the first 2 times.  Now not so much.

Then there are the toads.  These guys are poisonous to dogs.  I've had to launch a bunch of them over my 10 foot, razor wired fence.  I feel bad but...

There's so much more! This is just a little intro to Mi Casa.  But the rest will have to wait for another time.  Until then I still hope everyone comes to visit me.  I promise I have all the creatures under control :)

ENDURANCE: Chicken Buses

God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks.  It's a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God...    - Lamentations 3:25-27

As time goes on, and on, and on I am realizing my life as a missionary is all about endurance.  I'm starting to understand that in those really long, quiet periods God IS working.  I can't see anything but I know He is.  And while I wait for answers to prayers prayed a million times, I will have hope and will continue pressing on.

God can do anything, you know - far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams!  He does it not by pushing us around but by working with us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.  - Ephesians 3:20  

So while I continue building my endurance and following God, I wanted to write more about my everyday Honduras.  I wanted to share the parts of life that have become a weird norm for me.  I wanted to share the parts that make me laugh or even sometimes cry.  So here goes.


Chicken Buses

Before I moved to Honduras I had only seen chicken buses in movies.  In movies they always seem to be old school buses with a ton of luggage strapped to their tops.   Their seats are filled with unfriendly looking natives, holding livestock and swatting flies.  Movies make chicken buses look awful.  I had no clue they would become my favorite mode of transportation!

At any time during the day, you can find a bus in Honduras.  There are schedules for these buses somewhere... but you don't need to know them.  All you need to do is ask a local where the bus passes and then you stand there and wait.  These buses can be school buses, coach buses or even little vans.  Their destinations are painted right on the front of their windshields, so you'll know which bus to flag down.

Being car-less here, I've really come to depend on the bus system.  It's amazing how many there are.  The bus station in San Pedro is bigger than any airport in the country!  But travelling by bus in the 3rd world is always an adventure - to say the least.

I've had many Chicken Bus experiences in Honduras but a few still really make me laugh.  And although some of these experiences might have made me cringe during the ride, they were totally worth it. I got from one end of the country to the other for only a few dollars.

One of these memorable rides was on a 6 hour trip.  I was sitting at the back of the bus with my head out the window.  Someone had peed on the floor and puked in the seat in front of me.  The stench was nauseating.  But I had to get home and it wasn't so bad with fresh air hitting my face.

I'm pretty sure this bus was going at least 80 mph down very narrow, 2 lane roads.  The driver ran into large tree branches and even a little roadside hut.  Finally at our destination, I got off the bus with only a few minor cuts and bruises. (With my head out the window I hit what the bus hit.)  The driver got off the bus too, looked at me and proudly asked, "Quick trip right?"

I think they add more rows of seats to these buses because I'm usually squished.  And when the person in front of me reclines their seat its even worse.  But one of these rides was really special.  As our bus rolled slowly through traffic and the sun beat down through my window (that wouldn't open), I was not happy when the seat in front of me reclined.  And as I looked closer I noticed there were also roaches crawling in and out of it, inches from my face.

Just at the very moment I thought I would scream,  I saw a feathery little head peek back at me.  And with that, my bad mood disappeared.  I wanted to thank the little old lady holding the chicken... but instead I snapped a picture.

With Honduran buses there's always room for one more.  Even if that means sitting on someone's lap, standing in the aisle or blowing a tire!  A direct bus can be not-so-direct with a little tip to the driver.  This can turn a 1 1/2 hr ride into 4 hrs, as every person on the bus gets dropped off at their house.  Exiting a bus at night can be tricky because you never know what your going to step in on your way out.  Your flip flop may slip through a pile of vomit...  

You might think I'm crazy but travelling by Chicken Bus is the best way to see a country and its people...very up close and personal.  There's nothing else like it.

He Loves Me

A few weeks ago I was scrolling through Facebook and noticed my brother had posted something about lent.  I stopped to look because, well, we're not Catholic. I was curious to see what had caught his attention.  40 things to give up for lent.  What a great list!

I was reading this list out loud to a friend and she jokingly suggested we give up negative thinking. It was a really good idea and something we both needed to do. So we pledged to give up negative thinking until Easter.  Its been 2 weeks and my friend has been very successful. I, on the other hand, am not doing so well. This sounded so easy!  What was my problem?  

You know those nights when you can't shut off your brain and you lay there for hours worrying?  Or the mornings you'd just like to pull the covers over your head and hide forever?  These were just some of the things I realized negative thinking was doing to me.  I was letting these thoughts, these worries, these lies, affect my life.

My devotional today was about Romans 8:37 "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us."  

God loves me.  I don't deserve it, but he will always love me.  And no matter what craziness happens, no matter how defeated I feel or afraid I am, I have to remember God will get me through.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  - Jeremiah 29:11

Oswald Chambers gives an example of surf in an ocean.  Hard surf that wears out the normal swimmer brings excitement and joy to a surfer.  The surfer has fun riding the waves!   

The hard surf is our difficult circumstances.  When we worry and stress over these things we let the surf pound us.  But when we remember that God is in control, we cut through the hard surf and enjoy riding the waves.

Today I choose to ride the waves.  I will stop worrying and fearing things that are out of my control.  I surrender, again, to God's plan for my life.  I know that through everything I have victory because He loves me.

This is my city.  I always try to look up at the mountains.  They remind me of God's promise.